A friend tried to help me out with an introduction to a glamorous and slightly frightening looking art lady/powerhouse. I hate it when this happens it makes my brain suddenly become entirely filled with cotton wool. Her intense eyes and general demenour told me she had little tolerance for bullshit. Or me. It went a bit like this:
Friend: “Laura, meet Sam, she’s the NATIONAL REGIONAL ART BOSS AND RULER OF THE ENTIRE REGION, AND HOLDER OF THE KEY TO YOUR FATE AND YOUR FUTURE.. Sam, meet Laura, she’s an illustrator, and a designer. She’s really funny and talented…”
Sam: “Hello, Laura…”
Me: “Hi Sam………..How’s the wine?”
Sam: “It’s fine thanks……”
Me: “Oh good, yeah mine’s ok too….erm……don’t think I’ve had enough though…”
Sam “Well, erm….” (she looks from left to right) “TONY!!! HI, …Sorry, erm..
Sam “Laura (HA HA) it was lovely to meet you. Good luck with everything…” Sam legs it, all I see is the flash of red from her fast moving Louis Vuitton soles.
Me: “Yes, thanks, bye then…”
I breathe a sigh of relief. My mate looks shocked. “God you are shit”. she says.