A Small Observation On The School Run

Media Mum demonstrates irritating and not uncommon 500-decibel-own-child-worship. Sideways glance from Mother in Niquab confirms this.

ELVISsmml

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School Rumour: Half Bull Baby

A new school rumour for you from Eleanor Verner:

Becky PayneSML

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Photojournalism Goes Insane Over Pickle Story

Reading this story in today’s Metro, I couldn’t help but imagine the following conversation: 

The Photgrapher “Ok Alan, I think the BEST thing is if you lie flat on the floor with your arms outstretched and hold the ACUTAL jar of pickled onions out towards me as if you’re offering me one. Floor level style. Then we’ll place the dog over your body as if he’s pinning you inadvertently to the carpet. Look sort of desperate.” 

Alan: (clearly not prone to questioning the voice of professionalism and authority) “No Problem, like this?”

Photographer: “just tilt your head a little… Nice. You look great.”

  

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Mandatory Health Check

My daughter was due her routine health check. The lady had a very special ‘way’….It was like being sent to the headmaster’s office.Mandatory health check

 

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Today’s Solar Eclipse – Using Your ACTUAL Eyes

Might I suggest using the old fashioned method of watching this morning’s solar eclipse?Heck we could even leave our phones by the bed?! #LivingOnTheEdge #UsingYourActualEyes

Solar Eclipe

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Write and Send Me Your School Rumours Please….

I am making a collection of school rumours. I need more. Here are some examples of what I have been given so far, which I have then illustrated for the collection:

 

Malt loaf rumourSister Greta alan-lord

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iBeard The Latest Must Have At Apple Store

At the genius bar in Regent Street, I couldn’t help but notice the abundant facial hair (On the men). I drew a few while they were tapping away on peoples equipment fixing things, and looking generally furry, yet serious. iBeard triptich

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The Ad For Acupuncture Looked a Bit Like This

I have had acupuncture before, and when they put the needles in my face, I didn’t smile…

Acupuncturesml

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Confessions to a Stranger

A brief conversation with a little girl at my daughters school went something like this

20150122-111050.jpg

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Vote in May. Keep The Nutters at Bay

There are many reasons why I find Nigel Farage hard to swallow. (Perhaps you can feel it in my drawing.) But the fact he publicly admires Russia’s own Alpha nutter, Putin sort of nutshells almost all of them. I know it’s not new news, but it’s relevant. Vote in May –  Keep the Nutters at Bay.Nigel Farage and Putinsml

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